I MISS CARLO...and i cant sleep

so i cant sleep rite now...i never can anymore..ima be goin to la this weekend...cant wait...goin to disneyland too...havnt been there since i was 18..life for me since i last wrote in here as been the same...really good...except for the fact i miss my boyfren like crazy...he is the first person i usually talk to everyday..and the last...he is a hottie...MY hottie that is lol...the only thing that sucks about him is that he lives 8 hours away from me..he is tha perfect boyfren and i never wanna lose him so enuff bout him...

im hungry lol..some of the youth and i will be going to fugis on wensday...i really cant wait cuz i hant had sushi in a really long time...its bout time i had some lol...OMG.. SO CANT WAIT TILL DISNEYLAND!!! lol..it will be hella fun...hopefully the boothang will come too to make it even better..cuz everyone going will be paired up in couples...who am i gunna be paired up with??? lol...i think the only real single people in the youth are my sister, michelle, and matt...everyone else taken haha...we're all getting old...other then jill n jojo getting married...i think me n carlo (if we make it that far(which i think we are)) then idk after us...

its so weird that we're all getting older...im like really scared of getting older... im scared of getting older...im scared of getting fragile...like always depending on other people...and maybe loosing my memory...that would really suck...like i will be dead while im alive because i dont know anything whats going on around me and stuff...wow i need to stop thinking about it and go to sleep now..good night world!!!

1ST BLOG OF THA YEAR...NEW BEGGININGS

So from my las blog that i wrote...i left of to where my n carlo wer just talking...well WE ARE OFFICIAL now lol...he is one of tha greatest guys i noe...i like him alot..he is tha first guy i ever brought to my parents or family to meet...he takes good care of me n everything...he is everything i want in a guy..except tha shortness part...i really like this guy infinity times infinity lol

I can so be myself around him...no make up..unshaved legs...just woken up...un brushed teeth...burp in his face...be a pain in tha butt...be annoyin...n he still likes me!!!...i can talk to him about nething..i just hate how far he lives from me...he ws here for like 2 weeks n went back on sunday nite...damn i hella miss him..i really want me n him to last

A Guy I'm Starting to Like

I haven't wrote in here in a while...well i guess alot has happened...Preshus's catilion...year end...and thats mainly tha big events...well year end was really good...i had fun...and thats when I saw Carlo...I've known him before...like Four years ago was the last time i saw him at youth camp...And i remembered really well that he wiped his sweat on me!!! lol...well that is how he remembers me too after I had to remind him lol...well I saw carlo and i was like oh shoot!!! HAHA...I thought he was kinda cute...but i neva thought nething else of it...so he was there in and outta tha sactuary...during service and stuff...i was eyein him lol...then he left early...i ws like darn...i wnt be able to introduce myself to him...i was like watever...not really trippin

When the service ends i ask his brotha Aaron about him...he just sed tha usual stuff i already knew about him...then i asked kayla bout him and she told me some stuff lol...i told her not to tell Aaron lol...

The next day roles around and its preshus's catilion...we did all the stuff, get ready, drive around, everywhere, take pictures ect...Hadda hella fun time...got my drank on lol

The next day Jenn and I went to babysit Lanie...I was bored so I thought of lookin up carlo on Aaron's page...Score I found him!!! hahaha...thats how we started talkin from there

It's been like 2 weeks we've been talkin now...we talk every night...He asked me to meet his family next thanksgiving!!!!...like omg!!!...He related to the Manondongs!!!!...bleh..I'm not trippen out about the rest of the family...But Jon jon, Analyn, and Jessie!!!...I don't know if they even like me!!! lol...AAAAAHHHHH...omg IM SCARED HAHA...hopefully everything will be good...aaaaahhhh...bleh...okay..tis all...i'll blog more later

niaomi's wedding

so this past weekend was my cousin's wedding...it made me realize alot of things...first of..is that i barely know my family on my dad's side...i dont even know some of my own cousin's names!!!...thats really sad...i really want to get to know them better...i barely know there lives except for the fact wer related to the same people on my dad's side!!!...they are alot more fun the cousin's i have on my momz side lol

also...weddings...every single time i wanna plan my wedding...i only need a few things...a place to have it, my colors, a groom, and side for table arrangements lol...weddings are so lovely...its funny i always say i want a wedding but not a mmarraiage lol...plannin all those stuff must be stressful AND fun at the same time...i love dollin up for big events n stuff...wat more my own wedding???

ima have everything,...tha fireworks, doves, outside wedding...omg...its gunna be tha tightest weddin neone has ever had!!! lol...plusmmy rock gunna be so big it brakes my arm!!!! lol

ALSO I WORE THAT DRESS TWICE!!!..which is really embarassing lol

fugis..IM HUNGRY!!!!

I WANT TO GO TO DISNEYLAND!!!...funny this is a picture at great america though ahaha..but i will be goin to disneyland in december or january!!!!!!!...yay me!!! hahaha

so this weekend...is my cuzos big old wedding!!!...i cant wait haha...i love dollin up lol...its gunna be at tha base...i love goin to weddings!!!..i want a wedding...but not a marriage haha...sometimes i actually want both haha...this blog is so out of it!!!

its cuz im bored!!! haha...so im tryna get into my old xanga...but i cant figure out my old user name n password haha

i need a new hairstyle...im so gettin tired of this one...i had it since may...as everyone can tell i have like add with my hair haha...i can have tha same hairstyle for too long...im surprised i left it on this long...i normally change it with in 2 months hah

well its lunch time for me...i will be back!!!! lol

THE APOLOGY

So finally Brian apologized to me...It really felt good that he did...i finally have the clouser that I've been wanting...

I admit I felt all these feelings comming back a little...he kept saying that he owes me alot

YEAH THAT NIGGA DO!!...yeah i still care for him...yeah that made miss him..but watever...everything that's happening is supose to be happening

i am so happy in my life rite now...i love my life and every thats in it and especially the people who isnt anymore!!!

So brian...if you ever read this...i love you and take care...thank you for this last four years of lessons learned..hope everything goes good for you and that you do find the right girl someday..

P.S....I MIGHT ASK THAT PAYMENT FROM YOU SOMEDAY LOL

mad/irked/period blog..no one know bout this blogger..so noone gunna read it!!!!!

Alot has changed....went to shawna n christianz wedding...me n del got in a hella long 2 month fight and made up...he go out with nikki...scandeless rite since tha whole camille thing lol...brian still prank calls me..moved to friscko..now movin back to alemeda in a few weeks...had my debut show and my photo shoot...graduating either sept 27, or oct. 4...so exited..yeah i think thats bout it

Rite now I'm just in my room here in friscko...my whole fam went to mexico with out me cuz i have school..gettin my hair did tomorrow..ppl so irkin me rite now though...nothing really exciting at this very moment happening in my life...just waitin for abdc to start so i can go to sleep rite after...tomorrow is youth nite and on saturday is the leaderz outting

sometimes i feel confused with my life...like what am i going to do after i graduate???...like wat salon should i go to??..or should i even do salons...what if i do photoshoots???...idk really wat to do...the closest thing i got to model wise is my cuzo...one of the hoe models...all i did was cut and color her hair though...oh well...at least gettin print for it

but still idk wer to go or do...or should i even stay down here???..ive been wanting to go down south for hella long alredy...i really dont want to stay up here...tha youth group all paired up...lianne n jae, michelle n eugene, aus n irka, jenn n jordan, jojo n jill, jordel n nikki...well nikki isnt part of tha youth...i feel all left out n stuff...

like really i dont want to get into tha world agen...done that for a lil while...i dnt wanna keep datin around cuz im bored...sorry guys...i was just lookin for something to do everytime you took me out...a relationship dont really suit my intrest rite now...get back at me in like 3months...i really dont know

maybe u should move down south...thats what ive been wanting to do for so long alredy..or move to hawaii....like get away from up here...cuz basically im gettin hella sick of it...and is it me or is jaegar gettin more and more rude everytime i see his rude ass...bleh...

also...wats a cell phone for if you dont answer tha damn thing???...yeah i understand if u dnt wanna talk...but if i leave a message cuz i want to get something done..call me back!!!..at tha most it wud only take like 30mins!!! geez louize!!!!

also people that change afta they get in a relationship...i hate it!!!...geez remember who your old frens are???...and tha ones that helped you get through ur las friggin heartache...u see who ur real frens are afta they get in a damn relationship...they just leave u hangin...shoot...nxt time you get into a heartache my ass aint gunna be there niggaSSSSSSS...

peace out niggas...hopefully a nap will make me feel better

bleh...i think im gettin period or im really sick of it here in northern california...damn it...maybe a lil of both haha